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Partners recognize that they have different temperaments, strengths, vulnerabilities, and emotional histories, which can create issues, but still. He says that you still should try to connect (on simple topics) and not to take offense if we're shut down. Successful intimate relationships are partnerships of equals, characterized by intimacy which evolves through mutual self-disclosure and sincerity, and are based on shared values, wants, needs, and goals. But I think Gray only references space as far as the relationship troubles go (an other heavy topics).I'm not attracted to a man who buggers off at unpredictable moments.What if I or our future family need him at that time?The first stage of dating, Attraction, is a time to meet and get to know a variety of people. Uncertainty for Him: When a man is uncertain he tends to question whether he wants to pursue a relationship.

A strong independent woman will have her own friends and interests and will not need his company 24/7 but if he continues to 'pull away' if he's maxed out his intimacy quota on are gulag basis he risks his relationship or his marriage if HE doesn't learn to deal with the responsibility of being part of someone else's life or part of a family. We know we must have some boundaries, but this elastic band theory seems more about control and neurosis than love, so I think we must reject it as emotionally immature and narcissistic.Proper relationships in my opinion do not follow such frankly proposerous notions and instead, as you say, follow realistic boundaries of trust and respect, regardless of who's going through what in their 'love cycle' or whatever.“Relationships are like elastic bands,” my friend explained. Of course we aren't perfect and we both screw up at times (sometimes we REALLY screw up) but we make it our main priority to always be kind and that in of itself is worth so much. I have read John Gray's book and various blog advice posts from him and they all irritate me massively because 80% of them persists in telling women how men think and feel, and how basically women should learn to control themselves, stop being 'needy' and ignore their feelings of hurt and rejection when her object of desire 'pulls away'.“If you pull away, they’ll follow you, but if you get closer, (‘Honey! The remaining 20% eludes to how men need to understand why the woman may feel hurt. Men are not Neanderthals that can only behave in accordance to their primitive and inexplicable urges to 'find autonomy', and neither is it appropriate or convenient for a woman in a relationship with a man to only raise conversations with a man when he is on the return cycle seeking out intimacy from her.

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